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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Francine: I can't believe you lied to me all these years. Stan: And the best part is, I'm still lying to you about a bunch of other stuff. Hayley: So, you're a despicable CIA fascist like my father Jack: No, doll face, I work for the Scarlet Alliance. It's more secret, more deadly, and everyone wears a turtleneck. Klaus: Sounds like a disco I used to frequent in Berlin. I did lines with Falco in the men's room. Greedy, greedy Falco. Francine: Yeah. About your amazing dad. I still can't believe you kept this from me. Stan: But... he said not to tell. Francine: But I'm your wife. Stan: And he's my dad. That's nature's wife! Don't you get it, Francine? The whole reason I joined the CIA was to be like him. Francine: What kind of man abandons his family for 20 years? Stan: Only the manliest man in the world. Honestly, you should be having sex with him right now. He'd do you right. You want me to go get him? I don't think he's asleep. Francine: You quit the CIA?! Stan: That's right! I have a chance to join the Scarlet Alliance. Francine: A chance?! You don't even have the job yet? What about your family?! Stan: Francine, this is my dream. My life will finally be rich with adventure. Francine: Oh! Adventure. Hold on. (Grabs phone) Hello? MasterCard? Do you accept payment in the form of adventure? Stan: But... Francine: (Still pretending to be on the phone) Hello? Colleges? I'd like to pay my son's tuition. I don't have any money, but my husband is rich in adventure! ("Hangs up") Stan: Well, what'd they say? Jack: Okay, these are blueprints of the National Gallery of Art. Stan: Finally! All-out war against artists. I've longed for this day. Jack: No, Stan. Terrorists have smuggled uranium in a shipment of Egyptian artwork. Stan: Terrorists? You mean Al-Qaeda? Jack: Al-Qaeda? Please! Al-Qaeda wishes they could cater these guys' parties. We have to break into the museum and get the uranium before they do. Roger: No! It's too dangerous! You and I could be so happy together. Jack: What? Roger: I said, Cheez-It? (Walks away slowly) Francine: (Answering door) Hello. Are you from a religion? Because we're happy with the God we have now. Jack: Son, breaking into a vault is like making love to a woman. Stan: Right, so we should pound on it for, like, two minutes? Jack: No, you've got to gently work the dials until she surrenders. And it opens. Stan: (To his father, after shocking Francine) Dad, you missed it! |
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