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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Roger: (As he drinks alcohol from a flask behind the Oval Office desk) Hey, look! I'm Kitty Dukakis in an alternate timeline! Father Donovan: Look, according to the church, there are no pets in heaven. Eligible for heaven, you got your men, women, children, and apes who use sign language. Not going to heaven, you got your pets, your dinosaurs, your smart types, and self-aware robots. You ever seen Blade Runner? No, of course you haven't. Roger: God, who do you have to probe around here to get a chardonnay? Bullock: We've got to blow this door. Prepare the door blower! (Softly) We really should find a better name for that. (Roger calling Hayley on the phone) Roger: Hayley? Roger. Got a sec? Hayley: Roger?! Whoa! Is this one of those Twilight Zone phones where I can talk to the dead, but only with horrible, ironic consequences? Roger: Oh, right. It's past noon, you're already high. Let me talk to the fish. Hayley: Oh my God! You're really alive?! Roger: Yes, and I've somehow acquired a nasty, old, racist sidekick. I'm at the Smithsonian. You got to come get me! Gertie: There you are. You send me to get you a churro, and then you disappear. Anyway, here's your filthy, wetback donut. Roger: (To Hayley, on the phone) Hurry! (Looks at two prostitutes arguing & slapping each other on a corner) Stan: This reminds me of something. (Gasps) Dynasty! (Gets in car) CIA! To the Smithsonian! Drive! Wait. This is my car. Even better! (Stan drinking piping-hot coffee) Bullock: (Referring to Roger) Our analysts have confirmed this creature is none other than the alien that escaped from Area 51 four years ago. (Spits coffee in someone's eyes) Man #1: Ah! My eyes! Stan: He's alive. Bullock: Naturally, recapturing this fugitive is our top priority. Then we can track down the bastards that have been harboring it and punish them brutally. (Stan spits coffee at someone again) I mean really brutally. Weird stuff. Butt stuff. (Stan spits coffee at someone again) Somebody take Smith's coffee. Gertie: Wow, the oval office. Just think of the history that's been made behind that desk. Roger: Not to mention under it. |
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