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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bullock: I've never seen this language before. Stan: No one has, sir. That's why we're flying in our top code-breaker. His name is Tom Jorgenson. He's notoriously difficult to work with. Some call him a genius; others call him a madman. But he's the single most valuable weapon our country has in our war on terror. (Helicopter crashes into dam) Stan: Scott here is, uh, pretty good at the Jumble. (Helicopter parts fall on Scott) Bullock: Damn it! There's a maniac out there jeopardizing the security of our nation! We must focus all of our resources on catching him. (CIA agent whispers to Bullock) Bullock: Right after softball practice. Stan: (Upon entering the convention center) Good God! Who's manning the internet?! Francine: Hi, honey. Stan: Aw, Francine, Bullock stuck me with another pathetic assignment. I'm in a rut. My career is going nowhere. Roger: Well, if you need a place to go, how about the market? Oh, and, Francine, FYI: Cheese Nips are not the same as Cheese-Its. Why have a list if you're not going to follow it? Stan: All the cool missions go to the young guys. Francine: Stan, maybe you're just having a mid-life crisis. You want to cheat on me? Stan: A mistress on my salary, Francine? Come on! Francine: Listen, sweetheart, you have a stable job, an adoring wife, and a family that loves you. That makes you the richest man in the world. Stan: Oh. Oh, that's fantastic, Francine. I'm the richest man in the world. (Grabs phone) Hello? Bill Gates? Turns out I'm the richest guy in the world because I have an adoring wife and a loving family. Francine: Oh, Stan, please. Stan: Oh, hang on. That's the other line. Hello? UNICEF? Yes, I'd like to donate some of my immense riches. What's that? Children are still starving in Africa because wife love is worthless to you? What an odd policy. Stan: Francine, I don't want to be a pencil pusher. I'm a killing machine. Francine: Oh, sweetie, I know. Why don't you just talk to your boss and tell him how you feel? Stan: That's perfect! I'll plant a bomb in his office and then diffuse it, so I can prove I've still got it. Steve: Come on, guys, guess who I am! Hayley: Oh, uh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I don't care. Steve: It's Gavin from my algebra class. He's always doing this. Klaus: Well, you tell Gavin to pay attention. The students in China pay attention, and they outnumber us four to one. The Red Dragon awakens. Steve: (Trying to "guess" Grandpa Smith) Um, um, okay, okay, uh, dead? L - Lifeless? Oh, Lindsay Lohan's eyes! Father Donovan: (At Grandpa Smith's funeral) Okay, what do we got here? Ah, beloved Grandpa. Course. God forbid I get to spice up my day with a murdered stripper. Francine: Stan, maybe you should say a few words. Father Donovan: Great, thanks for landing this. I got tee time in, like, 20 minutes. (Leaves) Stan: So... tacos? Who wants tacos? I'm buying. Hayley: Gosh, dad, you're not even gonna say anything about your own father? Stan: Oh, he didn't like tacos. |
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