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Funny Quotes From American Dad ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 Page 15 - Page 16 - Page 17 - Page 18 - Page 19 Page 20 - Page 21 - Page 22 - Page 23 - Page 24 - Page 25 - Page 26 Page 27 - Page 28 - Page 29 - Page 30 - Page 31 - Page 32 - Page 33 Page 34 - Page 35 - Page 36 - Page 37 - Page 38 - Page 39 - Page 40 Page 41 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hayley: Look, get this through your head, Avery. We are over. I'm with Jeff now. Bullock: How dare you talk to me that way, you third-rate tart. Stan: Uh... sir, she is my daughter. Bullock: Silence, man-horse! This is between me and that filthy, cheap slut. Stan: With all due respect, sir, suck it up. Bullock: You'll get your promotion, Smith. Just as soon as you do one last thing for me. Stan: Oh, come on! I've picked up your laundry, I polished your shoes... I've done everything but bend over backwards for you, and my daughter did that, so I say we count it. What else could you possibly want me to do? Bullock: Kill Jeff Fisher. Stan: I got the promotion, Francine! Francine: Yes, but you lost my respect. You're not the man I married. Stan: And you're not the man I married. Francine: That doesn't make any sense. Stan: It doesn't have to. I got a promotion! Stan: Are you familiar with a TV show called Fear Factor? Jeff: Yeah? Stan: Well, today you're going on a long car trip with Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan: Ever do it with a stripper? They're some psycho bitches. Stan: Get in, Jeff. Jeff: No way! I am not spending an entire afternoon with this polarizing figure. I'm going home. Stan: Jeff, wait! Do you realize what you just did? You stood up to me. Now you're the kind of man Hayley wants. Congratulations. Joe Rogan: What are you guys, homos? Stan: No. Joe Rogan: (Sadly) Oh. Stan: What the hell do you think you're... Hayley: Look, Avery called to apologize for what he said at the carnival. We met for coffee, and, well, I know it's crazy, but I like him. He challenges me. And besides, he has a huge... Stan: Penis, I mean, Hayley! Damn it. I was trying to cut you off before you said... Hayley: I was gonna say heart, but, well, you shined his shoes. Stan: Unbelievable. I'm this close to a promotion and our darling, little Squeeky Fromme decides to assassinate my career. Klaus: You know, I wasn't sure about the Squeeky Fromme reference, but it's a smart joke and the fans have come to expect that from us. Hayley: Hey, if the whole CIA is at this carnival, who's out there undermining democracy? Stan: The FBI pulls a double shift. Now, listen, when we get there, you better keep your Liberal pie hole shut! My promotion depends on it. Francine: Honestly, Stan, what does Hayley have to do with you getting a promotion? It should be enough that you're really good at your job. Stan: Yeah, it should. But we don't live in Shouldland. Ah, Shouldland, where clean-cut kids cruise Shouldland Boulevard, and the Shouldland High football team gets their optimistic asses kicked by their cross-town rival, Reality Check Tech. Francine: It's just a CIA carnival. Why are we folding napkins? Stan: Because there'll be food and my boss likes to wipe his mouth on swans. (Picks up napkin) What the hell is this? Roger: Metrosexual soccer icon, David Beckham. I can't do swans. I don't know why. |
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