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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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STORE MANAGER: Do you like children?
HOMER: What do you mean? All the time? Even when they're nuts?

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HOMER: Homer no function beer well without.

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HOMER'S BRAIN: Use reverse psychology.
HOMER: Oh, that sounds too complicated.
HOMER'S BRAIN: Okay, don't use reverse psychology.
HOMER: Okay, I will!

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LISA: Why do I have the feeling that someday I'll be describing this to a psychiatrist?

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BARNEY: Hello, my name is Barney and I'm an alcoholic.
LISA: Mr. Gumble, this is a Girl Scout meeting!
BARNEY: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit you have a problem?

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BART: Joe Banks, eighty-two years young, has come to this pond everyday for the past seventeen years to feed the ducks. But last month Joe made a discovery: the ducks were gone. Some say the ducks went to Canada, others say Toronto. And some people think Joe used to sit down there near those ducks. But it could be that there's just no room, in this modern world, for an old man and his ducks.

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MILHOUSE: It started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended in tragedy.

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CHIEF WIGGUM: All right, you scrawny beanpoles: becoming a cop is not something that happens overnight. It takes one solid weekend of training to get that badge.
MAN: Forget about the badge! When do we get the freakin' guns?!
CHIEF WIGGUM: Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name.
MAN: I've have it up to here with your "rules"!
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