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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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LISA: I am the lizard queen!

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KANG: Holy fleurking schnit!

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BART: Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?
HOMER: Do I have to sit up?
BART: No.
HOMER: Knock yourself out.

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HOMER: Oh, twenty dollars. I wanted a peanut.
HOMER'S BRAIN: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
HOMER: Explain how.
HOMER'S BRAIN: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
HOMER: Woo-hoo!

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SUPERINTENDENT CHALMERS: I have had it with this school! The low test scores! Class after class of ugly, ugly children!

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LISA: I want you to shut off the logical part of your mind.
BART: Okay.
LISA: Embrace nothingness.
BART: You got it.
LISA: Become like an uncarved stone.
BART: Done.
LISA: Bart, you're just pretending to know what I'm talking about!
BART: True.
LISA: Well, it's very frustrating!
BART: I'll bet.

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REVEREND LOVEJOY: This so-called "new religion" is nothing but a pack of weird rituals and chants, designed to take away the money of fools. Let us say the Lord's Prayer forty times, but first, let's pass the collection plate!

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MOE: Call this an unfair generalization if you must, but old people are no good at everything.
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