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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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(Homer is explaining why his barbershop quartet failed)
BART:
What happened, Dad? Did you screw up like the Beatles and say you were bigger than Jesus?
HOMER: All the time! It was the title of our second album!

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MR. BURNS: This house has quite a long and colorful history. It was built on an ancient Indian burial ground and was the setting of satanic rituals, witch-burnings, and five John Denver Christmas specials.

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HOMER: Look at his eyes. He's trying to hypnotize me, but not in the good Las Vegas way.

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HOMER: Operator, get me Thailand, T-I... and so on.

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PRINCIPAL SKINNER: Is this how you imagined your life, Edna?
EDNA: Well, yes, but then I was a very depressed child.

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APU: Please do not offer my god a peanut!

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HOMER: Is this cartoon going on the air live?
JUNE: No, Homer. Very few cartoons are broadcast live. It's a terrible strain on the animators' wrists.

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HOMER: Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics.
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