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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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HOMER: Aw, what am I gonna do with a thousand angel ashtrays?
BART: I could take up smoking.
HOMER: You damn well better.

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HOMER: Get your glo-sticks. Can't get into heaven without a glo-stick.
NED: I'll take four.

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NED: Flanders to God, Flanders to God. Get off Your cloud and save my Todd.

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NED: Well, the handle's Flanders, but my friends call me Ned.
HOMER: Oh, hi Flanders.

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LADY: What crawled down your throat and died?
BARNEY: It didn't die.

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JAY: Hey, I think your shoes are untied.
RANIER WOLFCASTLE: From here, they appear to be tied, but I will take another look. (Jay leaves, night falls) Upon closer inspection, these are loafers.

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HOMER: Ah! We're headed for the sun! That's the hottest place on earth!

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MARGE: Bart, how many hours a day do you watch TV?
BART: Six. Seven if there's something good on. BART: We want the truth!
SIDESHOW BOB: You want the truth? You can't handle the truth. No truth-handler, you. Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!

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LISA: Wow! A secret staircase! But what do you do if someone wants non-alcoholic beer?
APU: You know, it's never come up.

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HOMER: Okay, okay, don't panic. To find Flanders, I just have to think like Flanders. "I'm a big four-eyed lame-o, and I wear the same stupid sweater every day." The Springfield River!

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NED: Reverend... emergency! I - it's the Simpson kids - eedily - I, uh, baptism - oodily - uh - doodily doodily!
REVEREND LOVEJOY: Ned, have you thought about one of the other major religions? They're all pretty much the same.

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MILHOUSE: Hey, who has better vacation ideas than AAA? According to the publisher of this AAA guidebook, no one!

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KRUSTY: Hand over all your money in a paper bag.
APU: Yes, yes, I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.

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HOMER: Marge, I'm bored.
MARGE: You could read something.
HOMER: I'm trying to reduce my boredom.

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RALPH: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
funny games
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