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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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HOMER: The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!

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MULDER: All right, Homer. We want you to re-create your every move the night you saw this alien.
HOMER: Well, the evening began at the gentleman's club, where we were discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
SCULLY: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
HOMER: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?

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HOMER: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

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BART: Milhouse, what happened?! You were supposed to be watching the factory!
MILHOUSE: I was watchin'. First it started to fall over, then it fell over.

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LISA: I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, Dad.
HOMER: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things, too.

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APU (after being shot): Ah! the searing kiss of hot lead; how I missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

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BILLY CORGAN: Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins.
HOMER: Homer Simpson, smiling politely.

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CHIEF WIGGUM: See ya in court, Simpson. Oh, and bring that evidence with ya; otherwise, I got no case and you'll go scot-free.
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