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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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HOMER: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

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BART: I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.

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HOLLIS HURLBUT: Get out! You're banned from this historical society! You, and your children, and your children's children! (pause) For three months.

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HOMER: When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie Spaceballs. But instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie - Police Academy.

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HOMER: Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."

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MR. BURNS: This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you.

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BLEEDIN' GUMS MURPHY: The blues isn't about feeling better. It's about making other people feel worse, and making a few bucks while you're at it.

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MARGE: I think we're going to need a bigger place.
HOMER: No, we don't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's room and Bart can sleep with us until he's twenty-one.
MARGE: Won't that warp him?
HOMER: My cousin Frank did it.
MARGE: You don't have a cousin Frank.
HOMER:He became Francine in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.
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