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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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MR. BURNS: Bad corpse! Stop... scaring... Smithers!

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LISA: I like him! He's smart, he's sensitive, he's clearly not obsessed with his physical appearance...
HOMER (walking by): My ears are burning.
LISA: Uh, I wasn't talking about you, Dad.
HOMER: No, my ears are really burning. I wanted to see inside, so I lit a Q-Tip.

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MR. BURNS: Thank you, come again. Smithers, release the hounds.

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HOMER: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals... except the weasel.

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REVEREND LOVEJOY: Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.

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HOMER: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
APU: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
HOMER: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

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LISA (waking up from a dream, yelling): I want to help you, Geaorge Washington!
BART (walking by): "I want to help you... George Washington"? Man, even your dreams are square.

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BART: As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade.
HOMER: And if you don't, at least you'll be bigger than the other kids.
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