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Funny Quotes From The Simpsons
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KANG: We must move forward... not backwards, not to the side, not forwards, but always whirling, whirling, whirling towards freedom!

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LISA: Dad, we did something very bad!
HOMER: Did you wreck the car?
BART: No.
HOMER: Did you raise the dead?
LISA: Yes.
HOMER: But the car's okay?
BART & LISA: Uh-huh.
HOMER: Alright, then.

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HOMER: What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

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HOMER: Two hours? Why'd they build this ghost town so far away?
LISA: Because they discovered gold right over there!
HOMER: It's because they're stupid, that's why. That's why everybody does everything.

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DRILL SERGEANT: Look soldier, you don't like me, and I don't like you.
HOMER: I like you.
DRILL SERGEANT: Well, I don't like you.
HOMER: Maybe you'd like me if you got to know me better.

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MAUDE FLANDERS: Edna, I really don't think we're talking about love. We're talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N.
KRUSTY: Sex Cauldron?! I thought they closed that place down!

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MARGE: Homer, did you call the audience "chicken"?
HOMER: No! I swear on this bible!
MARGE: That's not a bible. That's a book of carpet samples.
HOMER: Mmm... fuzzy.

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HOMER: Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
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