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Funny Quotes From The King of Queens
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Doug: Hey, look how it is! Hey Arthur, you want a beer?
Arthur: Sure, that's what the airbags are for...

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Doug: (walking in as Arthur is walking up) Hey Arthur, what did you do today?
Arthur: Oh, I had a busy day: Long story short, the shag carpet's all the same length...

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Doug: Why don't you let Mr. Hofferman play guitar for you. I'm sure it sounds even fruitier underwater.
Carrie: Yeah? Well the fruitiest thing I've seen underwater is you my friend!

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Doug: So what movie are we seeing, anyway?
Carrie: Casablanca.
Doug: Ugh. A black and white movie.
Carrie: It's a great movie. Dad, back me up here.
Arthur: Casablanca? Never saw it.
Carrie: You must have. Humphrey Bogart owns a cafe, Ingrid Bergman...
Arthur: Don't ruin it for me!

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Doug: Some guy from the senior center called and wants you to take over for the weekend
Arthur: I can't...Or can I? The will is their but do I have the stamina? You know what...I'LL DO IT!
Doug: Couldn't Care less

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Doug: Yeah now I have to watch my parents for the weekend without Carrie.
Deacon: Just suck it up damn, I mean they took care of you for what 18 years?
Doug: Actually 27

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Stephanie: It's normal to feel weird without a job, I mean you've been working steady since you were what 16?
Doug: 29

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Arthur: So, the fact that I'm bored to tears means nothing to you?
Holly: Arthur, we invited you to play Trouble with us!
Arthur: Your explanation of the rules was incomprehensible!!!
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