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Funny Quotes From The King of Queens
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Doug: I told you already, my dentist died six years ago....
Carrie: Just because your dentist dies does not mean you are free from ever going to one again.....

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Deacon: Why don't we watch the game at my house?
Doug: Cause i have real food here, you only have fruit. No way i'm watching the boxing while eating a nectarine!

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Doug: Friends keep you away from TV.

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Carrie: Hasn't anyone said you look like someone?
Doug: Oh, you mean like every famous fat guy in every movie ever?

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Spence: Oh my God! My TiVo thinks I'm gay!

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Arthur Spooner: Why do we have to sit so close to the kitchen? Is it because we're BLACK?

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(Doug and Deacon are locked in a refrigerated truck with penguins)
Doug Heffernan: "Warning: Please retain key as refrigerated trucks are not equipped with interior door handles". Mother of ASS!

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Arthur Spooner: Permission to buy a parrot and name him Douglass.
Arthur Spooner: Permission to buy another parrot and name him Douglass II.
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