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Funny Quotes From Father Ted ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Page 9 - Page 10 - Page 11 - Page 12 - Page 13 - Page 14 - Page 15 - Page 16 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ DOUGAL: Can I stay up tonight to watch the scary film? TED: Ah, no no no. The last time you stayed up to watch a scary film, you ended up having to sleep in my bed. I wouldn't mind, but it wasn't even a scary film. DOUGAL: Come on, Ted. A Volkswagen with a mind of its own. Driving all over the place and going mad. If that isn't scary, I don't know what is. STACK: While you were out, I got the keys to your car. And drove it into a big wall. And if you don't like it, tough. I've had my fun, and that's all that matters. TED: The Chinese. A great bunch of lads! DOUGAL: I know! We'll lure them into a giant bingo game! TED: And how are we going to do that? DOUGAL: We'll print up some bingo cards on our printing press, and... Oh. TED: Yes, it's the lack of a printing press that lets us down there. Or bingo balls. Or a PA system. Or, in fact, any bingo paraphinalia at all. DOUGAL: Damn. So near, yet so far. TED: So... let me get this straight. You were up on an old man, riding him around and whipping him. For an hour. DOUGAL: Yes. TED: You realize that image will stay with me for the rest of my life? DOUGAL: As if magic, I can create a big crowd of invisible ducks. FITZPATRICK: You left the cyanide capsules next to the valium, you old fool. That's just asking for trouble! DOUGAL: Do you remember that film, Ted, where your man has his head transplanted onto a fly, and fly's head is transplanted onto the man? TED: Oh, yes, what was that called? DOUGAL: Out of Africa, I think. Father Ted is a comedy sitcom from Ireland which aired from 1995 through 1998. Perhaps a little on the late side Father Ted became an international success sparking a loyal following and no doubt a conference call from the executive producer asking to have the show put back on the air. It's cult following has organized the annual "Ted Fest" fan convention and a series of recent documentaries sharing the series name. |
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