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Funny Quotes From Family Guy
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Stewie: How dare you, that book may hold the key to my enslaving of all mankind!

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Chris: When the kids at school see this, they’re gonna think you’re a total psycho,and I could say that psycho is my dad.

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Peter: (About Joe) My whole family worships the ground he can’t even walk on…

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Peter: You’re not supposed to admire wheelchair people. You’re supposed to feel sorry for them.

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Chris: (About Joe) He’s cool, Dad…he killed a guy.

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Joe: I just suggested a line of handicapable toys – ya know, to show the kids the fun of being physically challenged!

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Stewie: What the deuce? He’s half man, half machine.

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Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have you tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy.
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